Energetic Vibration

The past couple of weeks as I’ve been talking about conscious creation, I’ve mentioned energetic vibration a few times. I wanted to give a clearer understanding of what that means.

Everyone has energy. Everything, for that matter. In humans, the energy system includes the seven major chakras (and numerous minor ones), and a seven-layer energy field, sometimes called the aura. Each layer of the energy field corresponds to the same-numbered chakra, so the first, or root, chakra is tied to the first, or closest to the body, layer of the energy field, and so on.

Energy vibrates at different frequencies depending on several different factors, including emotional state, how you respond to your environment or to events in your life, how much work you’ve done to raise your vibration, and how many lifetimes you’ve lived previously. We talk about someone vibrating at a “high frequency” or “low frequency,” and it’s important to remember that high isn’t automatically better than low.

It’s kind of like with an FM radio dial. Here in the Boston area, we have a station at 88.9 and one at 107.9 (with a bunch in between.) 107.9 isn’t necessarily a better radio station than 88.9. It’s different, and it’s at a higher frequency, but that doesn’t mean it’s better. Some people prefer 88.9; some people prefer 107.9. Some people prefer the ones in between.

If you have a high energetic vibration, it doesn’t mean you’re better than someone with a lower vibration. You’re just different from them. And just as some people prefer a radio station that’s at a certain frequency, some people prefer being around other people who vibrate at a certain frequency. Usually, that’s a frequency that’s close to their own. In fact, being around someone whose frequency is vastly different from yours, regardless of whether it’s higher or lower, can sometimes even be physically painful.

Unlike radio stations, our energetic frequencies aren’t permanently set. Circumstances can raise or lower them. As we become conscious of our own power in our lives, we can also intentionally choose actions and thoughts that raise our frequency.

One of the quickest and easiest ways I know to raise my vibration, which I learned from the same friend who taught me energy healing and channeling, is to simply say, “I intend to raise my vibration to higher and higher levels.” Obviously, you have to actually put intent into raising your vibration; mouthing the words without meaning them won’t do much of anything. But if you say it and fully mean and intend it, it will make a difference.

Meditation or meditative actions like yoga are other good ways to raise your vibration, because you’re focusing your energy and doing so in a positive way.

Positive experiences and emotions boost your frequency as well. The saying, “Do what makes you happy,” has some energetic basis behind it. If we engage in activities that cause us to feel happy, if we spend time experiencing joy and laughter, and if we surround ourselves with other beings (humans, pets, etc.) that bring us happiness, our vibration will be higher.

The higher your vibration, the more positive outcomes and experiences you’ll bring into your life. Like attracts like; positivity attracts positivity. High vibration attracts things that help us continue to keep our vibration high. Learning to raise your vibration and maintain it at a high frequency is another vital step in the process of creating your own reality.

Don’t-Wanting

When you talk to a very young child, saying “No” something or “Don’t do” whatever sometimes has the opposite effect. For example, if you tell a child, “Don’t touch the stove,” they’re probably going to touch the stove. If you say, “No hitting,” they might hit you. It might be partly to find out what you’ll do if they disobey you, but in large part it’s also because they don’t register “don’t” or “no.” They only hear the verb, not the negative.

The Universe can be kind of like that. If you say, “I don’t want to be late for work,” what’s going to happen? Quite probably, you won’t be able to find something you need to bring with you, so you have to spend time looking for it. Or your car won’t start, or you hit every traffic light red on your commute. The end result is that you’re late for work, exactly as you said you didn’t want, because the Universe doesn’t register the “don’t.” It only registers the verb; it hears that you want to be late.

When you’re learning to consciously create your life, it’s important to learn to change your phrasing. After all, you’re trying to create the things you do want, right? Not the things you don’t want?

It’s part of typical human phrasing to speak about the “don’ts” and “nots.” We do it all the time. “Don’t forget this.” “Don’t talk with your mouth full.” “I don’t want to argue with you.” And so on. It’s just the way our language has developed, and some of us talk that way out of habit.

The problem is, that habit contributes to negatives and don’t-wants cropping up in our lives. I know every time I tell myself, “Don’t forget to do this,” I promptly forget to do it. Unless I write it down, of course, but even then, if I’m focused on “don’t forget,” I’m likely to misplace the note or be someplace where I can’t look at it.

One of the early steps in working with creating your own reality is creating more positive phrasing. Rather than saying, “Don’t forget,” why not just say, “Remember”? Instead of “Don’t talk with your mouth full,” we could say, “Keep your mouth closed while you’re chewing.” And instead of, for example, “I don’t want this job anymore,” as we’re telling the Universe what we’re trying to create, we could say, “I want a job where I feel happy and fulfilled.”

It can be a little tricky, because we need to be mindful of our thoughts as well as our spoken words. If you’re saying, “I want a job where I feel happy,” but you’re *thinking*, “I don’t want to work at this crappy job anymore,” you’re still sending out “don’t-want” messages to the Universe. Those messages affect the energy you put out, so your energetic vibration lowers and becomes negative. And you end up stuck in the same crappy job.

So as you’re altering the words you speak, you also need to alter the things you think. You need to alter, to the extent possible, how you feel about what you’re trying to change. If you find yourself speaking and thinking in positive terms but you still seem to be stuck with the don’t-want, take a look at your emotions. Are you angry about your current situation? Are you discouraged that things aren’t going your way? Those emotions also lower your vibration.

Shifting your emotions takes a lot of work as well. One thing that works really well for me, and for others I’ve talked to about this, is to imagine that you already have the thing you want. Not just think about it, but completely immerse yourself in a mental image of the situation where your “want” has come to pass. Feel the emotions you would feel in that abundantly positive situation, and let those emotions fuel the creation of that thing.

It’s really easy to fall into the trap of thinking about what you don’t want, or feeling negatively about what you have, rather than thinking of what you do want and how you’ll feel when you have it. I have to constantly check in with myself to be sure I’m wanting and feeling positive when I’m working on creating new pieces of my life. It’s a process, but one that is definitely worth the effort.

Making Changes That Stick

It can be pretty easy to say, “I want to change my life. I want to create positive new things for myself.” Actually doing it, however, isn’t so easy.

Conscious creation is one name given to the process of making changes and attracting positive things into your life. The basic gist is that we are always creating our lives through our thoughts, emotions, actions, and energy, but many of us aren’t aware that we’re creating. Because we aren’t aware of it, crappy things happen, which makes us feel like crappy things will *always* happen, which makes more crappy things happen.

A note: My personal belief is that when some people talk about conscious creation, they phrase it in a way that comes across as seriously victim-blamey. “It’s all your fault that a traumatic thing happened to you, because you created it because you weren’t creating right.” I emphatically do NOT believe that.

While our energetic vibration does impact what comes into our lives, and our thoughts, emotions, and actions impact our energetic vibration, that does NOT mean it’s your fault when traumatic or other negative experiences come into your life. The whole point of conscious creation is *learning* how to be responsible for what you create. Things you create when you don’t know you have the power to create them aren’t your fault or necessarily your responsibility.

When we aren’t conscious of our creative power, and if we have a low energetic vibration, negatives come into our lives. And those negatives reinforce to us that negative things will happen, which makes us believe things will always be negative, which further lowers our vibration and brings more negative things.

(I’ll be talking more about energetic vibration and how to change it in a couple of weeks. For now, let’s just leave it that everyone has energy, and everyone’s energy vibrates at a different frequency. The higher the frequency, the more positive that person’s life is likely to be, and the more aware they’re likely to be of their creative power.)

Even if we’re aware that we can create things in our lives, sometimes we don’t use that creative power effectively. I can create enough money flowing into my bank account to pay my bills for the month, but if I stay stuck in, “Well, I paid them this month, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be able to pay them next month, money never shows up, I’m always broke,” that’s going to lower my vibration. And it’s going to create a continued lack of money, in which either I’m only able to pay my bills at the absolute last second possible, or, eventually, I’m unable to pay them at all.

Part of learning to consciously create our lives is learning to recognize the thoughts and emotions that hold us back from creating the most positive experiences and outcomes, and changing those to positive thoughts and emotions. That isn’t easy, and I don’t mean to imply otherwise. But it is possible to start taking steps.

First, when something negative happens, pay attention to what you’re thinking. Is it something like “Oh, crap, this isn’t good, but let’s see if I can fix it,” or more like “Crappy things always happen, my life is never going to go right”?

Second, make the conscious, intentional effort to change those thoughts. For example, if you’re thinking “crappy things always happen,” you might change that to “This is just one thing. Plenty of good things happen to me too.”

Third, identify the emotion you’re feeling–and remember, you *feel* emotions. You are not the emotion, you are the person *feeling* it. So instead of “I’m angry,” try looking at it as “I *feel* angry.”

Fourth, if you’re feeling a negative emotion, think about something that causes you to laugh, like a funny TV show you watched, or a memory of a time you felt especially happy. Let that thought or memory bring that positive feeling back to you.

Learning to create your own positive reality takes a lot of work and conscious effort. And it isn’t necessarily something you master. I’ve been working with this concept for well over a decade, and I still have times of “Everything crappy happens to me” or feeling angry, stressed, or scared about circumstances in my life. But I keep working, because even when I feel out of control or fear that I can’t bring the good things, I know the truth.

And the truth is that each of us is an abundantly powerful creator. We just need to learn how to use that power.

Following Through on Change

Deciding to make a change isn’t always easy. It takes a lot of insight and inner reflection to identify the change you want to make, and even more insight and inner reflection to figure out how to make it. The “how” might require research, seeking support from others, or even seeking professional help or support. Going through all of that can be hard work. Just recognizing the need for change and choosing to make the changes is courageous.

But in some ways, deciding to change, although it’s not easy in general, is the easiest part of the process. The toughest part for many people is actually following through.

New Year’s resolutions are a perfect case in point. Someone sees a need for change, for example the common “I need to lose ten pounds and eat healthier foods.” They say they’re going to do the thing. They tell other people they’re going to do the thing. They list the healthier foods they plan to eat, and maybe set an exercise goal. They might plan a reward for themself when they meet the goal, like buying that shirt they’ve been coveting. They set their intention: “I intend to be at a healthy weight and to do things to maintain it.”

But then the time comes to implement the plan. To start working on that intention. For some people, that’s when it falls apart. They have the list of healthier foods, but they still have holiday leftovers they want to finish off before they start the healthy eating thing. They have an exercise plan but it involves going to a gym, and they can’t seem to find time to do that. Even for people who do manage to start on the goal, plans might start to fall by the wayside after a week or two. They get frustrated and discouraged, and give up.

Deciding you’re going to change takes guts. But making lists and plans, and telling people what you’re going to do, isn’t enough. Setting intentions and putting the right energy out into the Universe isn’t enough. You have to take the actions too. If you want to lose weight, you have to actually eat the healthy foods and do the exercises. If you want to get a better handle on your temper, you have to actually realize you’re getting angry and walk away from the situation. And so on.

Too many people seem to think that all they have to do is set an intention and maybe say an affirmation or two, and what they want will come to pass. They might genuinely be unaware of the actions they need to take–and there are some coaches and other practitioners who will actually say that all you have to do is intend it and it will come to pass, so some people operate under the belief that that’s true. (Personally, I consider it extremely unethical and possibly harmful to tell anyone that intending it and thinking it is sufficient to actually change and grow, but that’s another post for another time.) Other people know they have to act in order to change, but they find reasons not to take those actions.

Every step of the process of change takes insight, determination, and courage. The step of following through on making the change also takes commitment. When you see a change you need to make, don’t only talk about it. Commit. Find the support you need in order to take those actions, and take them. And believe in your power to create the life you want.

Why Change?

Why change? Good question.

Life is a constant, ongoing process of change and growth. Unless you’re really, really determined, it’s pretty much impossible not to grow and change as you move through life. But some of that growth and change isn’t a conscious choice. It’s in response to things that occur in our lives, or simply the result of getting chronologically older and gaining more knowledge and experience. Change happens.

Conscious change, though, takes work, and to do that work, most people want a reason. That’s where getting tripped up and tangled in others’ opinions can happen. Changing solely for others doesn’t benefit anyone. For change to be effective and long-lasting, we need a self-focused reason to make it.

Sometimes we recognize something about ourselves that we think we might benefit from changing. We might not know how to start making those changes, but at least we know we want to make them. We’re consciously choosing to do something about a problematic trait or habit. We might need help figuring out how to change it, but it’s our decision, and if we do the work, it’s likely to become a permanent, positive change.

There are times when something about us is a problem and we don’t recognize it. Or we think it’s a problem that doesn’t require change when it actually does. In those cases, someone else might have to point out the issue to us so we become more aware. But even then, it’s still more effective to make the change because we see a reason to. Because we see a benefit to ourselves as well as others.

Early on after my kids and I moved in with my husband, when I was still working through some serious issues and still getting a handle on emotional regulation, sometimes I raised my voice when I was angry with my kids. I didn’t realize how much it upset my husband, or my kids, until my husband took me aside and told me it was really hard for him hearing me like that. My kids also told me they wished I would yell less.

I knew I was still working on effective emotional management. After nearly four decades of not being able to display any negative emotions for fear of what other people would do to me, I was finally in a place where I felt safe enough to stop suppressing the emotions. Unfortunately, that meant sometimes the emotion came out with an intensity that was out of proportion to whatever was going on. I knew this, but I didn’t always realize when the emotional display was out of proportion.

When my husband and kids had that conversation with me, I didn’t say or think, “I need to change for them.” They were the cause of me recognizing the need for change, but they couldn’t be the only reason for the change. I needed to change my behavior, and double down on learning better emotional regulation, for myself above all.

I chose to do the work and improve my emotional regulation because my behavior was hurting people I loved deeply and wanted to avoid hurting. Because the person I wanted to be was someone who took care of and protected those I loved. Because when I raised my voice and felt my temper rising to the boiling point, I saw in myself the people who had abused me, and I hated seeing that in myself. I wanted to build a life in which I could love myself. I wanted to create a space where my children might feel the love and safety I hadn’t had as a child or during my marriage to their father. I wanted to become the person I wanted to be.

When you identify a change you think you should make, take a moment to figure out why you want to make it. Are you doing what someone else has told you to do? Are you trying to change something about yourself that you’re okay with, but someone else isn’t okay with it and you’re trying to make them happy? If it’s a change someone else brought to your attention, do you have a self-focused reason to make it, or are you only doing it for them?

Ultimately, the one person on earth whose opinion of you matters, is you. You’re the one who has to live with who you are. You can’t “make” someone else happy, because you don’t control what anyone else feels or thinks. You can only create whether you are happy with yourself. So don’t just be the change you wish to see; be the primary reason you wish to see it.

Fighting the Violent Rabbit of Change

A lot of us talk about doing our inner work. Working on ourselves. Our mindset. Our health. We all have work we need to do, absolutely. Life is an ongoing process of change and growth, and to change and grow, we need to do the work.

But how many times do we say, “I’m going to work on this,” and it becomes busywork? The work becomes what we do to avoid the work. We say we’re going to do the work. We make lists of the things we’re going to do. We put it in our calendar. And then we look at the lists and calendar notices and say, “See? I’m working on it!”

Working on ourselves, doing our inner work, is scary. We’re conditioned to fear change. In some ways, we’re created to fear change. Our ego sees change and yells, “Change! Auughh! Run away! Run away!” It’s like change is that violent rabbit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and we’re the knights running away.

So our egos come up with every possible way to make us feel like we’re doing what we need to do, and feel like we’re making the changes, and think that things are happening, when they’re not. All we’re really doing is covering up the work we need to do with the busywork we’re doing so we can say “See, I’m working on it.” I know I’m guilty of this over and over again, and it’s something I’m trying to be better about.

Think about it. If you say you’re doing work on yourself, are you really? If you are, that’s great! But there’s no shame in saying, “I’m going to do the work,” and then having your ego convince you that you’re doing the work when you’re really not. That’s human. We’re human; we have egos. That’s what happens.

But sometimes we need to take a step back and look at the inner work we say we’re doing, at the inner changes we say we’re making, and decide, “Are we really doing this?” Or is our ego saying, “Look, I put it in the calendar! Look, I made a list! I’m working!” so it can keep running away from that violent rabbit of change?

Facing that violent rabbit is easier with support. Talk to friends or loved ones. Get professional help if you feel it’s warranted. Energy healing can also help bring up possible changes to make, and give you the clarity to make them. I have openings for new Chios clients now; please comment here or visit my Chios Energy Healing page for more information.

Getting In Balance

As I’ve mentioned in the past few weeks’ posts, there are a number of signs that your energy system might be out of balance, and a number of ways that might happen. There are also plenty of potential benefits to bringing your energy back into balance. But how can you do that?

The most effective way to rebalance your energy system and maintain that balance, once you’ve treated any physical or mental causes, is to have regular energy healing sessions with a skilled practitioner. But there are also things you can do on your own that will help.

  1. Rest. Our society is often focused on do, do, do, and achieve, achieve, achieve. We push ourselves to and past our limits. Parents not only deal with their jobs and other obligations and commitments, but also put themselves in the position of straining their resources for their children’s sake. Although “taking time to rest” might feel impossible, it’s important. A car can’t run on an empty gas tank.
  2. Put time and focus into your health. See your health care professional(s) regularly. If you have health concerns, seek treatment instead of letting the concerns linger and grow. Be mindful of what and how much you eat. If possible, and with your doctor’s guidance if necessary, make sure you have some sort of physical activity on a regular basis.
  3. Meditate. Even five minutes of sitting alone quietly with your eyes closed can be of benefit.
  4. Create or stay connected to a spiritual practice, if this feels right for you. “Spiritual” can mean something as simple as observing a tree; it doesn’t have to be religious or connected to a deity. Spiritual practice has different meanings for different people, so go with what works for you.
  5. Do things that cause you to feel happy or positive. This might even include doing something that you enjoyed as a child, like coloring or blowing bubbles. Anything that boosts your mood will help you energetically and in other ways.

And of course, treating yourself to an energy healing session will help. I’m open to new clients now; see my Chios Energy Healing page for more information.

Benefits of Balance

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been talking about what happens when your energy system is out of balance and what might cause that imbalance. Today, I’d like to share some of the benefits you might experience when your energy system is in balance.

It’s important to note, as I’ve done in the previous posts, that energy is not everything. Energy healing is not a substitute for medical or mental health treatment, and any physical or mental symptoms should be discussed with a professional to ensure that illnesses or injuries are treated effectively before looking toward energetic treatment.

If your energy system has been out of balance, you have probably experienced some negative effects, as I discussed in my February 14th post. When your system is back in balance, here are some positive results you might see. No results are guaranteed, but these are some that I myself have experienced after receiving energy healing treatment, and that my clients have reported.

  1. You might feel more rested and find yourself sleeping better, particularly if you have also received treatment for underlying causes of exhaustion or poor sleep.
  2. You might find it easier to focus your attention on tasks you want to complete, whether those are work-related, household chores, or simply things you want to do for yourself.
  3. You might find that things that have stressed you out don’t have as much of an effect on you.
  4. You might find yourself better able to effectively and constructively express and manage your emotions. (If you are experiencing emotional or mental distress, please seek help from a professional.)
  5. You might experience an increase in positive emotions.
  6. You might feel more energized or motivated.
  7. Your sense of well-being and connection to yourself might increase.
  8. Other aspects of your life might become better or more easily balanced, such as your work, family, and social life.
  9. You might gain more clarity on situations you’ve been trying to address.

These are only some of the benefits I’ve experienced or have been told about by clients. Again, nothing is guaranteed, and while you may also experience health benefits, energy healing is not a replacement for traditional health care.

If you’re interested in seeing what benefits you can receive from an energy healing session, I have openings for new clients! Visit my Chios Energy Healing page for more information.

What Imbalances Energy?

Last week, I listed some possible signs that your energy system may be out of balance. A number of things can cause that to happen. Our energy system, physical body, and mental/emotional state are all intertwined, so what affects one can affect the others. Here are a few things that might cause an energetic imbalance.

  1. Physical illness or injury. If something has affected your physical body, it has also had an impact on your energy system. The most common result I’ve found from physical illnesses and, especially, injuries is one or more holes in the energy field. The first step to treating an illness or injury should always be to consult a medical professional if it’s serious enough, or at least to treat the illness or injury the way you usually would (for example, putting ointment and a bandage on a cut). But treating the physical component doesn’t always help the energetic component get back into balance.
  2. Emotional “injury.” Again, what affects you mentally or emotionally also affects you energetically. Something as seemingly minor as being called a name on the playground as a child can have a long-lasting impact on your energy system, including possibly blocks in the energy field and/or one or more chakras. If you are struggling mentally or emotionally, consult a medical or mental health professional first.
  3. Stress. You probably already know what stress can do to your body and mind. It can also, as a friend of mine puts it, “wonk up your energy system.”
  4. Poor self-care or health habits. Not giving yourself time to rest or to get enough sleep. Not allowing time to connect with family or friends in positive ways. Pushing yourself too hard at work or in your personal life. Not eating in healthy ways, or exercising. (Before making any changes in eating or exercise habits, it may be wise to check in with your doctor, particularly if you have health diagnoses.) Any of these things can cause you to get run down physically or mentally, and therefore energetically.
  5. Suppressing your emotions. Too many of us are taught not to express how we feel, at least not when those feelings are negative. Anger is the most common one we’re told to stuff down and hide, but some of us are also taught not to show when we’re sad, bored, etc. Burying those emotions doesn’t make them go away; it causes them to build up and grow stronger, and that causes problems for us energetically and in other ways.
  6. External factors. Particularly for those of us who are empathic, what’s going on around us, both in our immediate environment and the world as a whole, can have a strong impact.

There are other things that may also cause our energy systems to go out of balance, but these are the most common. If you feel that your physical or mental health might be a factor, please consult a professional; energy healing is not a substitute for medical or mental health treatment.

However, energy healing can help rebalance your energy system once physical and mental factors have been addressed. I have openings for new Chios clients, and I would love to help you get back into balance. Visit my Chios Energy Healing page for more information.

Six Signs of Energetic Imbalance

Energy is a tricky thing. We talk about feeling low-energy or high-energy. Some of us say things like “Their energy just didn’t feel right.” But we don’t always realize the effects our lives have on our energy systems, or that our energy systems have on our lives.

Each person’s energy system is a delicate balance of flow. Too much flow, and people might feel overwhelmed or out of control. Too little, and people might feel exhausted or angry without knowing why. And it doesn’t take much to imbalance that flow.

Next week, I’ll talk a little about some of the things that might cause energetic imbalance. But first, let’s look at some signs that your energy might be out of balance.

  1. You feel “off,” but can’t express any more specifically what that means. You just don’t feel right physically or emotionally. You aren’t sick; it just feels like you aren’t quite in step with the world.
  2. You’re experiencing pain in part of your body. To be clear, if you’re experiencing any physical pain, the first thing to do is talk to a medical professional to rule out any physical causes. Energy doesn’t do everything, and energy healing is not a substitute for medical treatment! But, for example, if you have a dull ache in your throat, you have no physical illness (like a cold), and you’ve seen a doctor to rule out other possible causes, it may be that your throat chakra is blocked. A headache that isn’t related to a physical illness might be a sign that your third eye chakra is overactive Again, check for the physical causes first!
  3. Things that usually don’t faze you are stressing you TF out. No amount of deep breaths or meditation or whatever tool you usually use helps. Stress seems to want to be your new best friend, and it takes very little to set it off.
  4. You’re exhausted. It feels like every step you take is through quicksand. All you want to do in the evenings is hide under the covers and sleep. This is another case where seeing a medical professional to rule out other causes first is important. Exhaustion can be caused by physical or mental illness, and you’ll want to be certain that isn’t what’s going on before you decide it’s an energy thing.
  5. Your emotions aren’t cooperating. Your emotional responses to certain things are more intense, or less intense, than usual. You feel frustrated when you would usually feel happy. I can’t stress this enough: Talk to a medical or mental health professional to rule out other causes first. But this can definitely be due to an energetic imbalance.
  6. Your instincts are telling you your energy system is out of balance. You know you better than anyone else does. If you strongly feel there’s an energetic imbalance, there probably is. Trust yourself.

There are other things that might indicate an imbalanced energy system, but these are the most prominent signs I’ve seen. Always check in with yourself to assess how you’re feeling, and always check in with a medical professional if you’re concerned or have physical symptoms. But energy is intertwined with physical and mental health, so even when there is a medical cause and you’re receiving medical treatment, something energetic could also be going on. It’s worth finding out.

If you’re wondering whether your energy system might be out of balance, schedule a Chios session with me! All sessions begin with a 15-minute consultation during which I will tell you honestly whether you’re dealing with imbalances and whether I think you should consult a doctor as well. Visit my Chios Energy Healing page for more information and to schedule a session!