Welcome to 2020

2019 felt like a long year. I’ve talked with a number of people who have said they felt like 2019 put them through the wringer. A lot of pain, a lot of struggle. That was true for me as well.

In 2019, I started off excited about my business, then called River Flow Healing…and then things started going downhill both business-wise and, more importantly, in my personal life. The personal life struggles impacted my ability to be effective as a healing practitioner and coach, and at times impacted my ability to do much of anything at all. Those difficulties led to my choice a couple of months ago to go on hiatus and focus on myself and my own healing journey for a while. But now it’s 2020, and it’s time to start fresh.

My journey isn’t over, of course. Life itself is a journey; there isn’t any point where someone can say, “There, I’ve made it, I’m healed and everything’s perfect now.” Life isn’t intended to be something to master. It’s something to experience, and to learn and grow from.

I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past couple of months, though. Things that lurked in the dark places in the back of my mind that I hadn’t really wanted to deal with because we’re taught that “dark” equals “bad,” and that we have to either eliminate the bad things or pretend they don’t exist.

The thing is, dark isn’t automatically bad. It’s just dark. Just as we have to have both night and day, we have to have a balance of darkness and light in our lives and ourselves. The key is to learn to accept the darkness within us and work with it to change the negative results of it being there. 

When a toddler misbehaves, we don’t try to eliminate the toddler; we accept them, love them, and try to teach them more productive and positive ways to act. It’s the same with the dark aspects of ourselves. The goal doesn’t need to be eliminating them. It’s much healthier for us, and more effective in our healing, to accept and acknowledge–and LOVE–those aspects of ourselves, and learn more positive ways of managing them.

As a child, I experienced neglect, emotional and verbal abuse, and bullying. Those things were a constant in my life, day to day, even into adulthood. Because of that, the “dark” aspects of myself manifest, in my mind, as young children. It isn’t my job to get rid of them, but to give them the love, attention, and respect I didn’t receive. That means when one of my child aspects starts throwing a tantrum about how everyone hates her and that’s why I don’t have clients for RiverEvolutions, instead of ignoring her or telling her to shut up, I’m learning to embrace her and say, “I know it feels that way, and it’s okay to feel that way right now, but that isn’t reality. Let’s take a break and come back to this later.”

Taking a break is another key. When emotions escalate, sometimes we feel like we have to “push through” and get the thing done no matter what. But forcing ourselves to keep pushing at something that is causing us pain doesn’t serve us. It is okay to take a few steps back. It’s okay to leave a task temporarily unfinished so you can take care of yourself and let yourself feel your emotions. And when you’ve allowed that, you can go back and finish the task.

There’s a lot I’ve been learning over the past couple of months, and I’m looking forward to sharing it with you as I continue my work on myself as well as my work as a healing practitioner and coach.

It’s 2018!

Happy New Year! Okay, it’s a few days late, but even so, I hope your 2017 ended well and your 2018 is off to a great start!

2017 went by really fast. A lot changed for me, including a new direction for my business. Originally, River Flow Healing was meant to be a business through which I did energy healing, guided readings, and intuitive counseling. But those things never quite felt like a fit for me, even though energy healing and channeling, which is similar to the guided readings I had planned, were things I did years ago with a fair degree of success.

This time around, though, something was off. I tried doing guided readings, but I wasn’t connected enough to what I needed, and the store in which I tried to do them didn’t feel right for me. I struggled to find energy healing clients, though the ones I did find benefited from the healing work I did with them. And I couldn’t actually call myself an intuitive counselor without running afoul of licensing regulations.

As I pondered this, I started working with a woman doing what I ended up calling “holistic mentoring.” Rather than providing therapy or services based in years of study, I guided and counseled her using skills from the courses I’ve taken along with my own experiences and the work I’ve done on myself. She told me how much it helped her, and I realized that was what I wanted all along: To help others. The ways I’d been trying to do it didn’t work, but it was still very much what I wanted.

I started following some business coaches and transformational speakers online. Listening to the speakers and their messages, something resonated in me. This was another part of what I wanted to do. Not only help individuals by working with them as I had with the woman, but speaking to groups of people who might be helped by hearing my message. Speaking publicly wasn’t something I’d done a lot of, but I knew my message and what I wanted to share with others.

So from the ashes of River Flow Healing rose Kim Ramsey-Winkler, transformational mentor and speaker. Energy healing, both practicing and teaching, is still part of it, but not the primary focus. And I finally feel like I’m on the path I’m meant to be on.

I haven’t completely formed my 2018 plans yet. Sometimes having everything planned out backfires. But I do know I’ll be doing a presentation at the Provincetown Public Library in Provincetown, Massachusetts on February 21 at 6pm. I’m firming up other speaking engagements, and seeking more. I’m open to clients and am getting the word out about my services. I have a short e-book I’ll be releasing later this month, and a longer book planned incorporating my message, which I hope to have available by the end of 2018.

Kim Ramsey-Winkler isn’t my only identity. Under the name Jo Ramsey, I write young adult fiction, and I have a couple of projects planned under that name, though I don’t currently have anything scheduled for release. (It’s the first year since 2009 that I haven’t had any releases under that name…) My new pen name, KC Winter, writes adult erotic fiction, and I’ll be releasing my first novel under that name in July of this year. Both names write stories that include messages of acceptance, self-love, and living beyond one’s past, which are also the messages of my speaking and mentoring.

That’s what 2018 looks like for me, at least right now. Nothing is ever set in stone, and sometimes it’s better to roll with changes. So we’ll see where the year goes!

Approaching the New Year

It’s almost 2018!

 

 

 

 

In 2017, I didn’t accomplish all the goals I set, and now it’s too late. But that doesn’t mean it’s too late to accomplish those goals at all. Only too late to accomplish them in 2017.

2018 is a whole new year, and I’m looking forward to it. I’ve set some goals, and am on the way to meeting some of them already. But I’m also keeping in mind that the goals might change along the way, and that’s okay. I can’t predict the future. I can say now that these things are what I want to do, and this destination is where I want to go, in the coming year, but in, say, March, or August, or even next December, I might change my mind.

That isn’t to say I’m going to change my mind about working toward goals. But I might change my mind about what some of those goals are, or what the best ways are to get there.

Many people at this time of year start setting goals or resolutions for the new year. The problem is that some of us get hung up on “having to” meet those goals. We forget that change can always happen. Something might change in our lives that leaves us unable to meet a goal, or we might change course in our personal life or career. Or we might simply decide that something no longer serves us. And all of that is okay.

If you’re setting goals for 2018, consider including a goal to revisit your goals periodically. I plan to do mine quarterly. Set aside time at least a few times this year to look at the goals you’ve set, see how much you’ve accomplished, and see if any goals are ready to be removed, either because you’ve met them or because they’re no longer on the path you want to follow. Remember that nothing is set in stone in our lives, and that includes the goals we set.

Next week, I’ll share a few of my 2018 goals.