Stay the Course

Getting discouraged is easy. One thing goes wrong, one obstacle pops up, and the brain starts saying, “This is hard. Let’s not bother.” The more things go wrong and the more obstacles pop up, the more the brain says this, until we agree. “Yep, it is too hard. Let’s not bother.”

I deal with discouragement on a regular basis. Things are hard sometimes. Health issues get in the way; so do other things that are going on in my life. Stress from finances or worrying about family members can interfere. Sometimes someone else needs me to do something for them, and I don’t have enough bandwidth to handle their thing plus mine.

When we feel discouraged, it’s equally easy to give up entirely. To let the discouragement take the reins and stop us from continuing with what we were trying to do. I’ve dealt with that as well.

It is absolutely okay to stop doing something if it becomes too stressful, isn’t something you want to do, or no longer serves you. But if it’s something you do want to do or feel you need to do, you can combat the discouragement.

That isn’t as easy as it sounds, of course. Sometimes when you feel like giving up, that urge is too strong to “just get over.” (And let’s be real here–“just getting over” anything isn’t always possible. Some things are not just a case of mind over matter.)

When you’re at that point, take a break. Not a permanent one like the discouragement might want, but a temporary one. Give yourself a little while to do something you do actually enjoy, or to do something that gives your brain a rest.

Talk to someone supportive. This might be a friend or family member, or someone you know through networking, or even a paid coach if you work with one. People tend to hide when they’re feeling discouraged or stressed, but hiding it doesn’t help. Find someone you trust, and talk about how you’re feeling. Not only might that help you, but acknowledging that negative feelings happen, and that that’s okay, will help others as well.

Finally, be kind to yourself. There isn’t anything wrong with you for feeling discouraged, or for the struggles that are causing the discouragement. We’re all human, and part of being human is recognizing that sometimes things don’t work the way we hoped–and that however we feel about that is okay.

When you’re ready, come back to whatever was discouraging you, if that’s what you really want to do. Don’t be afraid to walk away if it’s something you genuinely don’t want to do anymore, but know that you can take a few steps back to deal with discouragement and then come back to it later. Taking a break won’t be the end of the world, or the end of what you’re trying to accomplish, and taking that break might be what you need in order to stay the course.

Power to Choose

How many times have you heard yourself saying things like “I have to do this” or “I have no choice”? If you’re like most people, those are phrases you probably use fairly regularly.

The truth, though, is that we almost always have a choice. We were created as beings with free will and the power to choose. We might not always *like* the options that are in front of us, but most of the time, if not every time, there are options.

For those of us who have lived in abusive or traumatic situations, that belief in the absence of choice may be particularly entrenched. After all, abuse, by its very nature, is the taking away of power. We don’t have a choice about how we’re treated by our abusers, and we certainly aren’t choosing to be abused. Those things are genuinely beyond our control. But having that power taken away can lead us to believe that we have no power in any aspect of our lives.

One of the most important steps in our healing journeys is to recognize the power we have to make our own choices. That doesn’t mean that we’ll always have options we want to choose! Sometimes when we say we have no choice, what we really mean is “That choice isn’t viable for me because of this reason,” or “Only one of those options comes without consequences.” But that doesn’t mean the other options don’t exist, only that they aren’t something that would work for us.

Freedom to choose doesn’t mean freedom from consequences, which is something people sometimes forget. You might, for example, choose to drive 100 miles per hour on Main Street; you’re free to make that choice. But that doesn’t mean you won’t get pulled over and ticketed or arrested!

Sometimes we confuse the existence of consequences with the absence of choice. As we learn to recognize and embrace our personal power, we need to learn that choice does exist, and to consciously make choices rather than falling back to a default because “there is no choice.”

This is something it’s taken me time to learn, and sometimes I still catch myself saying I don’t have a choice. But at those times, I stop myself and say, “Okay, wait a minute. What are my choices here? Why are choices A and B not valid for me right now?” Going through that process enables me to *consciously* choose option C, rather than just going with it because I’ve forgotten that I have the power to make a choice. I have free will, and I can use it.

The next time you’re faced with a situation in which you believe you don’t have a choice, I invite you to go through the process I just described. Ask yourself what choices exist in the situation. Not what choices you like, or which ones have no or fewest consequences, but just which ones *exist*. Once you’ve done that, look at the possible outcomes of each option, and consciously decide on the option that has the outcome you want.

Embrace and exercise your power of free will, and see how it can help you create the life you want to live.

An Oracle Card Reading

One of the things I’m gearing up to offer through RiverEvolutions (starting November 30!) is oracle card readings.

Oracle cards are cards that contain certain messages to guide people through their lives, offer answers to or insight on questions, and so forth. Oracle cards differ from Tarot in that oracle cards don’t include suits, while Tarot do, and the number of cards in an oracle deck vary from deck to deck, while Tarot decks always contain the same number of cards. Tarot cards are interpreted based on the meanings of the suits or other aspects of the cards, while oracle cards often spell out the meaning or part of the meaning in words on the card itself.

In 2006, I created an oracle deck, and have used it in various ways since. I was a little hampered in my use of my own cards because the images I originally used did not belong to me; I had permission to use them, but that permission was withdrawn after about a year. So I had cards with messages and guidance on them, but no pictures, and pictures are an important part of oracle cards.

Fortunately, I found a solution to that issue earlier this year. My deck is now called the Seascapes Oracle, and I’ve been using them as daily cards on my Facebook business page, as well as to do weekly readings on Facebook Live.

I wanted to do a short 3-card reading here to give a sample of what I’ll be offering to individual clients beginning November 30. This is just a general reading; the cards are applicable to anyone seeing them, though they may not resonate or feel relevant to everyone. The message in quotation marks for each card is what is on the card; the rest is my interpretation.

 

 

 

The first card is Limitless Source, “There are no limits to the abundance of the Universe.” You’re feeling reluctant to ask for what you want or need because you’re afraid you’ll be taking something away from someone else. This card says there’s plenty to go around. Whether it’s in your personal life or your business, it’s time to stop holding back and worrying about taking away from others. Reach out to have your needs met, or go after what you want, and know that there is more than enough for everyone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The second card is Cool Waters. “Allow clear water to cleanse your mind and soul.” You’re stuck in the muck, so to speak. “Dirt” from other people’s words and actions in your past–or maybe your present–is covering up your true self and holding you back. This card is both figurative, in the sense that you are covered with the “dirt” other people have left behind and need to cleanse yourself of that energy; and literal, in the sense that spending time in clear water, whether it’s a lake or ocean or your own shower, helps clear your energy as well as cleaning your physical body. So take some time to do this. It might be too cold where you are to spend time in a body of water outside, so take a bath if you’re able, or a shower, and envision or intend that your mind and energy are cleared of the residue left by your past.

 

 

 

 

 

And the third card is A Crystal Vision. “Your sight is obscured by expectations.” Instead of seeing what is truly there in front of you, which might be some pretty awesome stuff, you’re stuck on what you wanted to see or what you believed would be there. You aren’t seeing the good things in front of you because your mind is focused on the things you *don’t* have. Let go of expectations, and know that sometimes, you don’t get what you want or expect because it isn’t what’s truly in your highest benefit. What’s in front of you will benefit you more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So that’s a sample oracle card reading. If you’re interested in having me pull cards for you during one of my Friday Facebook Lives, please join me on the RiverEvolutions Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/riverevolutions) at 12pm Eastern time any Friday or send me a message through that page. And stay tuned for information and details about private card readings starting Monday, Nov. 30!

Some Benefits of Chios Energy Healing

Since 2005, when I was first introduced to Chios Energy Healing, I’ve seen a lot of benefits from it, both as a recipient and as a practitioner. I’m not going to go into a lot of detail in this post, because I need to be mindful of the confidentiality of my past clients, but a few things that I can say:

I’ve found that Chios has helped unlock memories of my past. While the memories themselves aren’t always positive, having them has been invaluable in helping me recover from past traumas and progress in my healing journey. You can’t address what you don’t know is there.

I’ve worked with clients who lived with chronic pain who, after a Chios session, experienced a decrease in their pain level for a few days or even a few weeks. Again, Chios isn’t a medical treatment, but what affects your energy can affect you physically and emotionally.

I’ve worked with clients who were experiencing a great deal of stress, which was affecting them physically as well as mentally and emotionally. After a session of Chios, some of these clients had less stress, and their overall well-being improved for a period of time.

Almost all of my clients have said they gained clarity and mental focus after sessions.

If nothing else, when you experience a Chios Energy Healing session, you relax. For the main part of the session, whether you’re having it in person or by distance, you’re lying down to rest. That alone can have a profoundly positive effect on your well-being.

On October 24, I received my certification as Chios Master of Healing Consciousness. I’m so excited to have attained this level in the Chios modality, and I’m thrilled about being able to offer this even more powerful level of healing to my clients! The CMHC techniques allow me to provide a more intense and beneficial level of healing energy, which in turn facilitates greater healing and well-being for the people with whom I work.

On November 2, I’ll resume offering Chios Energy Healing sessions. For the time being, I am only doing these sessions by distance, since my goal is to facilitate health and healing, not take risks with physical health. In a distance session, I meet with the client via video chat (Zoom or Facebook video messenger, generally) for a short consultation, and then for about half an hour I do Chios techniques for the client while they lie down and rest. We aren’t on video during this part of the session. When I’ve completed the techniques, I contact the client again via video chat so we can discuss what I noticed and what they may have experienced during the healing work.

If you’re curious to find out more about Chios Energy Healing, or to schedule a session, please Contact Us or visit the Chios Energy Healing page.

Why I Chose Chios

In 2005, I was struggling. My marriage was toxic and at times abusive. I felt completely incompetent as a mother. I’d discovered I couldn’t fit into the box of public education, so my career as a special education teacher had come to an end.

Most importantly, and most impactful, I’d begun recovering memories of abuse and trauma I’d experienced as a child. Those things had never fully been forgotten, but I’d stuffed them into a strongbox at the back of my mind, and tried to pretend they didn’t exist so I could function on a daily basis. But now they were finding their way out of the box, and I didn’t know how to deal with them.

That year, I met someone who became a close friend and mentor. During one of our conversations, he told me he did a type of energy healing called Chios, and offered me a session. I figured it wouldn’t hurt, so I accepted.

The difference was immediate and profound, though definitely not pleasant. The mental strongbox opened, and a lot of things came out, some of which I’d known were there and some I hadn’t been consciously aware of. It was difficult, and I’ll always be thankful to my friend for his support and willingness to listen and help me process in the immediate aftermath of that session.

However, even though it wasn’t easy to deal with, the session was incredibly beneficial. Having the clarity of what had happened to me enabled me to deal with the events, and to work on my personality traits and behaviors that had developed as a result. I also became clearer on what I wanted my life to look like, and on the fact that I did deserve to live a healthy, happy, safe life.

The effects that Chios had on me and for me were amazing, and I knew after that first session that I wanted to learn the techniques so I could help others. My friend saw me as a natural healer and agreed to teach me. Within a few months, I worked my way through the Chios levels to attain the certification of Chios Master Teacher.

Chios won’t work for everyone. For some people, it simply doesn’t resonate, or it isn’t as effective as other modalities. For me personally, it’s the only modality that has ever fully resonated, which is why it’s the only one I practice. I have tried learning a couple of other modalities, but the information I studied literally would not stay in my brain for more than a few minutes, which showed me clearly that those modalities were not meant for me.

The reason so many modalities of healing exist is because nothing works for everyone, but everything works for someone. I have had clients and students come to me who have explored several other modalities and found, as I did, that Chios was the one that actually resonated. I recommend Chios to anyone who has found other modalities to be ineffective for them or for whom other modalities don’t resonate.

Beginning November 2, I’ll resume offering Chios distance sessions. A distance session lasts about an hour total, and includes discussion with me over video chat both before and after the healing work. During the healing work, all you need to do is lie down (or sit, if lying down isn’t an option) quietly for about half an hour, while I do the energy work for you. If this is something you’re interested in or curious about, please visit the Chios Energy Healing page on this site, or feel free to Contact Us!

I’m not currently accepting Chios students, but hope to resume giving instruction in Chios in early 2021. If you’d like to be kept informed about that, let me know!

Studying

I love to learn things. Learning has always been something I enjoyed, though only under certain circumstances. Most of the “learning” we were required to do in school didn’t appeal to me, because it seemed arbitrary and I was only learning those things because someone else told me to. But learning things on my own, following my own interests and intuition, always appealed.

Partly for my own benefit and partly because I want to build and grow the skills and knowledge I use in RiverEvolutions, I’m currently starting a time of learning and growth in various areas. Some of my blog posts over the coming weeks and months will be about what I’m learning.

I’m enrolled in the Ph.D. program through the University of Metaphysical Sciences. This course is giving me the opportunity to broaden my knowledge base, as well as to narrow in on skills I can use as a healer, channel, and coach. It’s going to take time; regardless of what degrees one already has, UMS requires you to start with their Bachelor’s program and work up. But I’m excited about gaining this knowledge.

On my own, I’m studying Tarot and oracle cards, because I intend to offer readings of both types through RiverEvolutions over the next few months. But obviously if I’m going to do readings, I need to build my knowledge and skills! I’ve found a number of books and video resources, and if you know of any, I would love to hear about them.

I’m also reading more about trauma and its effects. I know many effects that trauma can have; I’ve lived with them. However, I want to have a more objective understanding of trauma, particularly as it relates to mindfulness practices and meditation. I’ve found for myself that some types of meditation actually have adverse effects; rather than feeling still and calm, I feel angry and revved up, and it can take a full day for me to settle again. At first when this happened, I thought I was doing something wrong, but then I saw friends of mine who also have lived through abuse or trauma say they had similar experiences when attempting to meditate. I’m setting out to study why that happens and find or create mindfulness practices that take those effects into account.

I’m building my knowledge base about Witchcraft. I am a Witch (not a Wiccan, though), but that doesn’t mean I know a lot. Magic and Witchcraft are very, very broad topics with a lot to learn and read, and I’m poking around finding things that call to me to learn more about. 

And I’m taking a course to attain the next level in Chios Energy Healing! I’m so excited about this one, because it will enable me to offer even more effective and beneficial energy healing services to my client, and because I’m learning directly from the developer of Chios, Stephen Barrett. Stay tuned for more about this, because you’d better believe I’ll be celebrating when I attain this degree. This is especially relevant now, as I gear up to resume offering Chios Energy Healing sessions beginning November 2.

Those aren’t all the things I’ll be learning and studying over the coming months. I’m kind of excited about this, because as I said, I love learning new things and refreshing or building on my knowledge of things I’ve learned previously. In some blogs, I’ll share things I’m learning.

“Create Your Best Life”

“Create and evolve into your best life” is the tagline for RiverEvolutions, but some people aren’t clear on what I mean by it. So I wanted to take a moment to explain.

I believe all of us have the innate power to bring things into our lives, change our lives, and create what we want to live. This isn’t some magical thing, though some people might call it magic; it’s a power we have purely by virtue of being alive.

As children, a lot of us play games of “make-believe” or talk about what we want to be when we grow up. We don’t recognize limits on our creative power. We believe in magic, we believe we can be whatever we want to be, and we create those things in our minds. And sometimes, those childhood “imaginings” and creations carry over into adulthood.

But sometimes we lose touch with that creative power. It might happen because adults tell us to stop playing “silly” games and make-believe. Sometimes, it happens because our power is taken away through abuse and trauma. We learn that life is a thing that happens to us, and we have to take what we get.

That’s a mindset I was in for a long time, and the events in my life didn’t do anything to change that mindset. But finally, I started realizing that I do have power in my own life. I can make things happen instead of sitting back and waiting. 

What I want in my life is what I can have, if I am focused and believe I’m deserving of having the things I want. If my life isn’t working out the way I want it to, that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve good things; it means I need to examine where I’m not using my creative power, and make changes in those areas.

When I talk about creating your best life, I’m talking about reclaiming your power and using it to make things happen in your life. And evolving? That means learning to *accept* your creative power, learning how to use it, and pushing beyond the fears and “what ifs” to actually put things into place so you can live the life you truly want to live.

Basically, I believe everyone deserves to live a life where they feel fulfilled and happy. Learning to create that kind of life is a journey, one I’m still on myself. But tools like energy healing and channeling have helped me recognize, reclaim, and use my creative power, and that’s what I love to do for others using those tools. For me, part of creating and evolving into *my* best life means helping other people create and evolve into theirs.

I’ve Been Recovering…

It’s been two weeks since I underwent throat surgery to remove my thyroid due to growths and an autoimmune disorder. 

The whole situation was a perfect example of why, when you know something is wrong with your body, you need to push your doctors until they listen to you. I had been saying for two years that something was wrong with my thyroid, but even though I’m fortunate to have doctors who usually agree that I know my body better than they do, they didn’t do the tests that would have revealed the actual issues. They tested my thyroid function, which was in the normal range, but didn’t do the antibody test that would have identified the autoimmune disorder, and didn’t actually touch my neck or throat, which would have shown them the lumps that were developing

I’m thankful that the issues were found when they were, at the beginning of this summer. Actually, in a strange way, I’m thankful for COVID; if COVID didn’t exist, when I developed symptoms at the beginning of June, I might not have gone to the doctor who found the lumps in my neck and finally got the ball rolling for me to have correct diagnoses and the surgery. (I didn’t have COVID; my symptoms were the direct result of the issues with my thyroid.)

So now I’ve been recovering for two weeks, and I’m feeling almost back to “normal.” I’m able to get up and do things. My voice is recovering. And I am ready to start working with clients again.

I have already resumed accepting clients for virtual channeling sessions on Zoom or Facebook video messenger, as well as accepting requests for email channelings. I’ve spent the time leading up to my surgery, and during part of my recovery, honing my channeling skills and my presentation to clients, and I’m looking forward to the relaunch!

If you’re interested in having a channeling session or requesting an email channeling, please visit the Channeling page of this website or feel free to email me at river@riverevolutions.com. I look forward to working with you!

Healing Doesn’t Always Mean Forgiving

Note: This is a slightly revised version of my post which originally appeared on the Wellness Universe blog on August 2, 2020. 

My marriage to my children’s father included a great deal of emotional and verbal abuse from him, along with behavior that can only be labeled toxic. That behavior and abuse continued off and on even after I ended the marriage, until last year when I finally severed all possible means he had of reaching me. He has caused lasting emotional damage for me, with the result that I have been in therapy for over a decade to work on healing from what he did as well as from other abuses I’ve experienced in my life.

In some corners of the spiritual community, I would be told to forgive him. I might even be told that forgiving him is the only way I could “truly” heal.

I disagree.

My spiritual mentor taught me that when it comes to harm caused by others, forgiveness equates to admitting that person has power over you. My mentor’s advice was, instead, to practice acceptance. “I accept that this occurred in my life, and that it was the choice of the person who caused the damage to do so. I accept that it was not about me, but about them. I accept that I am a good person regardless and can move on with my life.”

Forgiveness, as preached and practiced by some, not only involves acknowledging someone’s role and power in your life, but also often includes allowing that person to remain in your life. Again, according to those who espouse this way of thinking, the only way to be genuinely healed is to continue to allow the person who wounded you to be around you, even at the risk of being wounded again.

And again, I disagree.

In my view, someone’s first priority is to take care of themselves. To practice self-care, self-love, and self-acceptance. Sometimes, this means removing other people from your life. I had little choice about allowing my kids’ father to remain in my life; we shared children, and the court refused to believe what I told them about his abuse, so I was legally compelled to coparent with him. That exposure to him and his abuse did an additional near-decade of emotional and mental harm to me, until my children were old enough that I was no longer under that legal obligation. And the moment that became the case, I cut that tie.

Allowing someone toxic or abusive to remain in your life in the name of “forgiveness” doesn’t serve you or bring any benefit to anyone except the toxic/abusive person, who continues to have an unobstructed license to continue their behavior. This is not “true healing.” This is ego speaking, telling you that you have to act in a “more spiritual” way to prove that you’re really healed and enlightened. (An exception might be made for someone who has been toxic or abusive in the past but has demonstrated remorse, willingness and ability to change, and has expressed apology and made amends for their behavior.)

True healing comes when you embrace yourself as the incredible being you were created as, and choose to conduct your life and relationships in a way that honors yourself, your needs, and your health. And sometimes that means forgiveness doesn’t happen, at least not as it’s often preached–and that is okay. You have the right to set boundaries for yourself. You have the right to say, “This person is unhealthy for me.” And you have the right to forgive–or accept–in the way that works best for you.

I work with people who have experienced abuse, bullying, and trauma and are learning to forgive and accept themselves above all, providing Chios Energy Healing, channeling, and mindset coaching to facilitate their healing journey. I would love to talk with anyone who is on that journey about how I might help. Channeling sessions, which have been on hold due to my recent surgery, will resume on Monday; Chios Energy Healing sessions are unavailable until November 2, but I can share some suggestions for ways to rebalance and restore your own energy system. You can learn more on my website, http://www.riverevolutions.com, or my Facebook page, http://www.facebook.com/riverevolutions.

Today

Today, I’m undergoing surgery to remove my thyroid, as a result of the health issues I’ve mentioned in previous posts. Obviously, I pre-scheduled this post!

I appreciate good thoughts and healing energy that anyone is able and willing to send. The surgery itself is not major, but there are risks, as there are to any surgeries. More difficult for me, I will be alone in that my family members won’t be allowed into the hospital, so I won’t wake up in the recovery room to see them waiting for me, or be able to have them visit and sit with me while I remain in the hospital overnight.

At the same time, though, I am looking forward to having this taken care of. So many of the physical and even mental health issues I’ve experienced over the past two to three years can be traced to the thyroid problems. Once the thyroid is removed and I’m put on medication (which is simply a version of the hormones my thyroid is supposed to make and hasn’t been), I’ll feel so much healthier and be so much more able to accomplish things!

For the next few weeks, I’ll be somewhat out of commission as I recover. I have some blog posts banked up that I’ll be sharing, and my newsletter will go out on its regular schedule. I’ll be poking around on social media as well. However, channeling sessions and email channelings are on hold until September 28, and Chios sessions are unavailable until November 2, to give me time to tend to my own health and recovery.

 

This is and will be a good thing. This I believe.